I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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