someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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