why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
