talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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