I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
