So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
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May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
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Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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