I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
