I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just want to make out with him forever
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
