i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It was like giving head to a cactus.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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