im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I cockslap morals
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
