I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize