porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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