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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
