my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
