This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just found puke in my bra..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
