I want to have your abortion
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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