Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
