I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
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