they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
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I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
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I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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