You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
