3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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