Pregnant stripper...not hot.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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