well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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