I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
