You don't have asthma, your pregnant
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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