Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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