The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize