Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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