OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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