i may or may not be watching the land before time
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
smell my finger.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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