Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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