Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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