How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
