No stitches, just platelets and will power
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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