how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
