I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I take back everything I said about communal showers
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
