the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dick very happy bro
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
