Screwed.edu
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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