Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So vagazzling was a success
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
