Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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