proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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