And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
