Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
