your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
this will be a night to untag.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
