I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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