you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
