just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
