my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
