They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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