Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I see more hoeing in ur future
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