my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize