OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
