Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
