She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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