So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
