Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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