If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
