check it out our google latitudes are spooning
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
