Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
