I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dick very happy bro
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
