hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I love having hate sex.
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tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
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Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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