apparently the secret to your success is patron
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
her facebook's as public as her vagina
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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