spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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